Click on the book to see Hannibal's Elephant Girl, a new novel by Ariion Kathleen Brindley
The Benevolent Society
For
The Protection and Edification
of Unamused and Deranged Furbearing Quadrupeds
Presents
Funny Stories and Jokes
W A R N I N G
(this part is serious)
Stories rated R and X really are Raunchy
So don't go there unless you are one
Ratings
G --- Anyone in the family who can read
PG --- Cool kids only
PG13 --- Not good for kids under 13, even cool ones
I --- Intellectual
P --- Puzzling
R --- Not recommend for those under 18
X --- You must be over 18
Submit your story for consideration to
Charley Brindley
Be sure to put "Funny Story" in the subject line, otherwise it might accidentally go into
the trash bin.
If you enjoy reading then why not find someone to share it with. An internet dating service will help you find someone to match your interests. An online dating website can provide you with a perfect match in any category including christian dating.
Some of these
stories
were probably written by
freelance writers
. Are you interested in finding
online universities
who can help you with your
online bachelor degree
? Look no further
and visit us today.
Erma Bombeck February 21, 1927 -- April 22, 1996
Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life humorously from the mid-1960s until the late '90s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became best-sellers.
From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife with broad, and sometimes eloquent, humor. By the 1970s, her witty columns were read, twice weekly, by thirty million readers of 900 newspapers of the U.S. and Canada.
Here are a few quotes from Erma Bombeck.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. (on the US presidency)
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Story 217 Rating - R --- Did I read it right?
Story 216 Rating - G --- New From All Over
Story 215 Rating - G --- Never Argue With a Woman
Story 214 Rating - R --- Old man confessing sins
Story 213 Rating - R --- Irishman almost having sex
Story 212 Rating - R --- The Indian Student
Story 211 Rating - G --- Tennessee Farm Kid
Story 210 Rating - G --- Scottish Student
Story 209 Rating - P --- How smart is your right foot?
Story 208 Rating - PG --- Welfare Client
Story 207 Rating - PG --- Jamaican Sandals
Story 206 Rating - G --- Navajo woman
Story 205 Rating - X --- 3 Tasks
Story 204 Rating - X --- One Hell of a Headache
Story 203 Rating - X --- Latest scam
Story 202 Rating - R --- How to guess a woman's age
Story 201 Rating - PG --- Cute
Story 200 Rating - R --- Difference between potentially and realistically
Story 199 Rating - G --- The Guys' Rules
Story 198 Rating - G --- Business
Story 197 Rating - G --- Questions for a Slightly Twisted Mind
Story 196 Rating - G --- Test for Dementia
Story 195 Rating - G --- Stella Awards
Story 194 Rating - G --- Oh to be stranded
Story 193 Rating - G --- Men, be afraid, very very afraid
Story 192 Rating - X --- Memory lapse
Story 191 Rating - G --- Poor memory
Would you like to advertise on multiple websites? Click
Advertising Information to see how to advertise with either text or display ads
Story 190 Rating - G --- A Few Laughs on Getting Older
Story 189 Rating - PG --- S**ual Harassment
Story 188 Rating - PG --- CIA Final Test
Story 187 Rating - PG --- Dave Pushes Himself Too Hard
Story 186 Rating - R --- Cuban Family
Story 185 Rating - PG --- Like Married
Story 184 Rating - G --- Strange but ture (supposedly)
Story 183 Rating - G --- Quotes On Marriage
Story 182 Rating - G --- Seniors' Special
Story 181 Rating - G --- Man Vs Woman
Story 180 Rating - G --- Idiots of 2004
Story 179 Rating - G --- The Lawyer and the Lexus
Story 178 Rating - G --- Aging With A Smile
Story 177 Rating - G --- The Divorce
Story 176 Rating - G --- Will Rogers Said
Story 175 Rating - G --- About Growing Older
Story 174 Rating - G --- A Blonde Buys Christmas Stamps
Story 173 Rating - G --- Male and Female Reindeer, or is it Raindeer, or Raindear?
Story 172 Rating - PG --- Remember your first date?
If you would like to post your story or novel, go to
Writers Showcase to publish your writing on the web.
Story 171 Rating - G --- Blonde Coworker
Story 170 Rating - G --- The Blind Man -- A True Story
Story 169 Rating - G --- The Senior Citizens' Field Trip
Story 168 Rating - G --- The worst death!
Story 167 Rating - G --- Too drunk to drive
Story 166 Rating - G --- Two Blondes and an I.D.
Story 165 Rating - G --- Five Pigs
Story 164 Rating - G --- I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful and
Story 163 Rating - PG --- Damn Dog
Story 162 Rating - G --- Is it true what they say about Scots?
Story 161 Rating - PG --- The Young Mexican
Story 160 Rating - G --- Tonto & The Lone Ranger
Story 159 Rating - G --- Older Than Dirt Quiz
Story 158 Rating - G --- Stress Relief
Story 157 Rating - G --- 40 Things You May Not Know
Story 156 Rating - I --- Are you Sponge Bob Square Pants?
Story 155 Rating - G --- Job Interview
Story 154 Rating - PG --- Guy and Girl in a Bar
Story 153 Rating - G --- 5 Passengers
Story 152 Rating - G --- Our Government?
Story 151 Rating - G --- Actual Writings on Hospital Charts
Story 150 Rating - I --- Song of Ping
Click on the photo to visit the website
Are you looking for a kitten? Click
Himalayan kittens for sale
to see Himalayan kittens
If you would like to see some Persian kittens, click
Persian kittens for sale
to go to Kittybabies.com
Story 149 Rating - PG --- Cake or Bed
Story 148 Rating - G --- Stumpy Grinder
Story 147 Rating - PG --- Restroom Signs
Story 146 Rating - G --- Blonde Stuff
Story 145 Rating - G --- Who's Your Daddy?
Story 144 Rating - G --- People over 35 should be dead!
Story 143 Rating - G --- Bottle-fed or Breast-fed?
Story 142 Rating - G --- Strange Wisdom
Story 141 Rating - G --- The Farmer and the Lawyer
Story 140 Rating - G --- Blocked View
Story 139 Rating - G --- Redneck Church
Story 138 Rating - G --- Mankind's Most Important Discoveries
Story 137 Rating - G --- The Miser
If you've written a story or a novel, click
Literary Agents email addresses to see a list of literary agents' e-mail addresses
Story 136 Rating - G --- A Very Short Story
Story 135 Rating - G --- The Amazing Talking Dog
Story 134 Rating - G --- Grocery Shopping Drunk
Story 133 Rating - G --- The Priest and the Politician
Story 132 Rating - G --- The Inheritance
Story 131 Rating - G --- Boudreaux Logic
Story 130 Rating - G --- The Ant and the Elephant
Story 129 Rating - G --- Jokes to Offend Everyone
Story 128 Rating - G --- Ethel and Mabel
Story 127 Rating - PG --- Quickies
Story 126 Rating - PG --- Creative Dentistry
Story 125 Rating - R --- Square Balls
Story 124 Rating - R --- Sunday Morning S**
Story 123 Rating - G --- Walking is good for you
Story 122 Rating - G --- Smart Answers
Story 121 Rating - I --- Interesting Facts
Story 120 Rating - PG --- We Ain't Having None of That Stuff in Kansas
Story 119 Rating - G --- Stratigic Dictionary for Men
Story 118 Rating - G --- From a Woman's Point of View
Story 117 Rating - G --- How to get into Heaven
Story 116 Rating - P --- Strange Number
Story 115 Rating - G --- A Nun in The Bathroom
Story 114 Rating - G --- After the Super Bowl
Story 113 Rating - G --- Smart Computer
Story 112 Rating - G --- Divorce In Heaven
Story 111 Rating - PG --- A Little Girl's Fire Truck
Story 110 Rating - PG --- Why Buy The Cow
Story 109 Rating - PG --- Raisin Bread
Story 108 Rating - PG --- Saddam Hussain Captured
Story 107 Rating - G --- How To Wash The Cat
Story 106 Rating - G --- The Two Nuns, Mathematical and Logical
Story 105 Rating - G --- Wrong Way
Story 104 Rating - G --- President Bush and Colin Powell
Story 103 Rating - G --- Three Kick Rule
Story 102 Rating - P --- Easy Exam
Story 101 Rating - G --- The Test
Story 100 Rating - G --- A Little Supper Joke
Story 99 Rating - G --- Live Longer
Story 98 Rating - PG --- Business or Vacation
Story 97 Rating - PG --- Sheep Fries
Story 96 Rating - G --- Fish Story
Story 95 Rating - PG --- Indian and Woman on Horseback
Story 94 Rating - G --- Something to Think About
Story 93 Rating - G --- Philosophy of Love
Story 92 Rating - G --- Your Computer Relationship
Story 91 Rating - PG --- Bumper Stickers
Story 90 Rating - G --- Hit the Rabbit
Story 89 Rating - PG --- Male and Female Statues
Story 88 Rating - PG --- Confucis Say
Story 87 Rating - G --- Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton
Story 86 Rating - PG --- George Carlin on Planes
Story 85 Rating - PG --- George Carlin on Stuff
Story 84 Rating - G --- Blessed be the Little Children
Story 83 Rating - G --- You Think You Had a Bad Day
Story 82 Rating - G --- Wanted for Attempted Murder
Story 81 Rating - G --- Bill and Hillary Clinton's Hometown Visit
Story 80 Rating - PG --- The Drunk, the Num and Batman
Story 79 Rating - G --- Bill Clinton in the Land of OZ
Story 78 Rating - X --- Super S**
Story 77 Rating - G --- A Few Words From Steven Wright
Story 76 Rating - G --- Politically Incorrect
Story 75 Rating - G --- Killing a Bear With an Umbrella
Story 74 Rating - G --- More Useless Facts
Story 73 Rating - PG --- The King of Africa
Story 72 Rating - G --- Cat Planning
Story 71 Rating - PG --- Three Old Men
Story 70 Rating - PG13 - The New Yorker's Revenge
Story 69 Rating - PG13 - Monica Lewinsky
Story 68 Rating - PG13 - No S** for Two Weeks
Story 67 Rating - PG13 - The Country Bumpkin
Story 66 Rating - G --- GirlFriend Version 1.0
Story 65 Rating - G --- Church Bulletins
Story 64 Rating - R --- Lawyer Jokes
Story 63 Rating - R --- The Italian Who Went to Detroit
Story 62 Rating - G --- Air Force Maintenance Reports
Story 61 Rating - R --- Two Bulls on a Hill
Story 60 Rating - G --- Psychiatric Hotline
Story 59 Rating - G --- Bad Puns
Story 58 Rating - G --- The Flat Tire
Story 57 Rating - G --- Useless Facts
Story 56 Rating - G --- Letter to a Redneck
Story 55 Rating - G --- Clinton Family Tree
Story 54 Rating - G --- Three Travelers at the Farm House
Story 53 Rating - P --- I. Q. Test
Story 52 Rating - G --- Disappearing Ink
Story 51 Rating - G --- The Exam
Story 50 Rating - G --- Cigar Insurance
Story 49 Rating - PG --- What Has ...
Story 48 Rating - G --- S** in Las Vegas
Story 47 Rating - G --- Two Lines for Men
Story 46 Rating - X --- The Penis Study
Story 45 Rating - PG --- Dictaphone
Story 44 Rating - X --- The N**ed Man on the Bench
Story 43 Rating - PG --- Calling the Hard Way
Story 42 Rating - G --- The Blonde's Interview
Story 41 Rating - G --- Women's English
Story 40 Rating - PG --- The Chicken and The Egg
Story 39 Rating - G --- Three Engineers in a Car
Story 38 Rating - R --- The Perfect Day
Story 37 Rating - G --- Fifth Graders' Exam Answers
Story 36 Rating - G --- Two Blond Men
Story 35 Rating - G --- Rock Music Mice
Story 34 Rating - PG --- Blondes and Computers
Story 33 Rating - G --- Actual Headlines
Story 32 Rating - PG --- The Chicken
Story 31 Rating - R --- Three N**ed Black Men
Story 30 Rating - G --- The Cat and the Beaker
Story 29 Rating - I --- The High School Student
Story 28 Rating - PG --- The Girl From The South
Story 27 Rating - G --- The Difference Between Men and Women
Story 26 Rating - G --- The Things We Learned in College
Story 25 Rating - G --- The Help Line
Story 24 Rating - G --- Help for a Catholic
Story 23 Rating - P --- Brain Teaser
Story 22 Rating - G --- Great Truths from Children
Story 21 Rating - G --- Nerds vs Jocks
Story 20 Rating - G --- Bumper Stickers
Story 19 Rating - R --- Ed Zachary Disease
Story 18 Rating - G --- Not the Sharpest
Story 17 Rating - G --- Satan Pays a Visit
Story 16 Rating - G --- The New Pastor
Story 15 Rating - I --- Election Time
Story 14 Rating - G --- Jerves, the Butler
Story 13 Rating - R --- Nervous Bank Robber
Story 12 Rating - I --- Lawyer on Viagra
Story 11 Rating - G --- Y-zero-K Problem
Story 10 Rating - G --- Two Blondes
Story 9 Rating - G --- Twenty-Five Short Books
Story 8 Rating - PG --- The Holloween Party
Story 7 Rating - G + --- Invest in S**
Story 6 Rating - G --- Jack Daniels
Story 5 Rating - G --- If I Died
Story 4 Rating - G 1/2 --- Half Life of S**
Story 3 Rating - R --- Clyde Who Died
Story 2 Rating - PG13 --- Hospital Waste
Story 1 Rating - almost PG --- Bear Droppings
Click on the photo to visit the website
Are you looking for a kitten? Click
Himalayan kittens for sale
to see Himalayan kittens
If you would like to see some Persian kittens, click
Persian kittens for sale
to go to Kittybabies.com
If you've written a story or a novel, click
Literary Agents email addresses to see a list of literary agents' e-mail addresses
Would you like to advertise on multiple websites? Click
Advertising Information to see how to advertise with either text or display ads
If you have written a novel or short story and would a professional edit and analysis, please click
Novel Editing to see additional information
Writers' Free Reference is a list of free websites providing information useful to writers and others. Please click
List of free reference websites
to see the free list
A girl of twelve was thrown into a river by two men. Obolus, one of Hannibal's elephants, pulled her from the water. Click
Hannibal's Elephant Girl, a novel by Ariion Kathleen Brindley to see more about the book
To read the 100 Best Similes in Literature
click here to go to the website
