Ariion Kathleen Brindley


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Kittytracks

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girl and cat The Benevolent Society
For
The Protection and Edification
of Unamused and Deranged Furbearing Quadrupeds


Presents

Funny Stories and Jokes


W A R N I N G
(this part is serious)
Stories rated R and X really are Raunchy
So don't go there unless you are one


Ratings

G --- Anyone in the family who can read
PG --- Cool kids only
PG13 --- Not good for kids under 13, even cool ones
I --- Intellectual
P --- Puzzling
R --- Not recommend for those under 18
X --- You must be over 18






Submit your story for consideration to Charley Brindley     
Be sure to put "Funny Story" in the subject line, otherwise it might accidentally go into the trash bin.




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Story 216      Rating - G --- New From All Over

Story 215      Rating - G --- Never Argue With a Woman

Story 211      Rating - G --- Tennessee Farm Kid

Story 210      Rating - G --- Scottish Student

Story 209      Rating - P --- How smart is your right foot?

Story 206      Rating - G --- Navajo woman

Story 199      Rating - G --- The Guys' Rules

Story 198      Rating - G --- Business

Story 197      Rating - G --- Questions for a Slightly Twisted Mind

Story 196      Rating - G --- Test for Dementia

Story 195      Rating - G --- Stella Awards

Story 194      Rating - G --- Oh to be stranded

Story 193      Rating - G --- Men, be afraid, very very afraid

Story 191      Rating - G --- Poor memory




Ariion Kathleen Brindley


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Story 190      Rating - G --- A Few Laughs on Getting Older

Story 184      Rating - G --- Strange but ture (supposedly)

Story 183      Rating - G --- Quotes On Marriage

Story 182      Rating - G --- Seniors' Special

Story 181      Rating - G --- Man Vs Woman

Story 180      Rating - G --- Idiots of 2004

Story 179      Rating - G --- The Lawyer and the Lexus

Story 178      Rating - G --- Aging With A Smile

Story 177      Rating - G --- The Divorce





Erma Bombeck February 21, 1927 -- April 22, 1996


Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life humorously from the mid-1960s until the late '90s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became best-sellers.

From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife with broad, and sometimes eloquent, humor. By the 1970s, her witty columns were read, twice weekly, by thirty million readers of 900 newspapers of the U.S. and Canada.

Here are a few quotes from Erma Bombeck.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. (on the US presidency)

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.











Story 176      Rating - G --- Will Rogers Said

Story 175      Rating - G --- About Growing Older

Story 174      Rating - G --- A Blonde Buys Christmas Stamps

Story 173      Rating - G --- Male and Female Reindeer, or is it Raindeer, or Raindear?




Writers Showcase


If you would like to post your story or novel, go to Writers Showcase to publish your writing on the web.


Story 171      Rating - G --- Blonde Coworker

Story 170      Rating - G --- The Blind Man -- A True Story

Story 169      Rating - G --- The Senior Citizens' Field Trip

Story 168      Rating - G --- The worst death!

Story 167      Rating - G --- Too drunk to drive

Story 166      Rating - G --- Two Blondes and an I.D.

Story 165      Rating - G --- Five Pigs

Story 164      Rating - G --- I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful and

Story 162      Rating - G --- Is it true what they say about Scots?

Story 160      Rating - G --- Tonto & The Lone Ranger

Story 159      Rating - G --- Older Than Dirt Quiz

Story 158      Rating - G --- Stress Relief

Story 157      Rating - G --- 40 Things You May Not Know

Story 156      Rating - I --- Are you Sponge Bob Square Pants?

Story 155      Rating - G --- Job Interview

Story 153      Rating - G --- 5 Passengers

Story 152      Rating - G --- Our Government?

Story 151      Rating - G --- Actual Writings on Hospital Charts

Story 150      Rating - I --- Song of Ping

Kittytracks

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Story 148      Rating - G --- Stumpy Grinder

Story 146      Rating - G --- Blonde Stuff

Story 145      Rating - G --- Who's Your Daddy?

Story 144      Rating - G --- People over 35 should be dead!

Story 143      Rating - G --- Bottle-fed or Breast-fed?

Story 142      Rating - G --- Strange Wisdom

Story 141      Rating - G --- The Farmer and the Lawyer

Story 140      Rating - G --- Blocked View

Story 139      Rating - G --- Redneck Church

Story 138      Rating - G --- Mankind's Most Important Discoveries

Story 137      Rating - G --- The Miser



Literary Agents email addresses


If you've written a story or a novel, click Literary Agents email addresses to see a list of literary agents' e-mail addresses

Story 136      Rating - G --- A Very Short Story

Story 135      Rating - G --- The Amazing Talking Dog

Story 134      Rating - G --- Grocery Shopping Drunk

Story 133      Rating - G --- The Priest and the Politician

Story 132      Rating - G --- The Inheritance

Story 131      Rating - G --- Boudreaux Logic

Story 130      Rating - G --- The Ant and the Elephant

Story 129      Rating - G --- Jokes to Offend Everyone

Story 128      Rating - G --- Ethel and Mabel

Story 123      Rating - G --- Walking is good for you

Story 122      Rating - G --- Smart Answers

Story 121      Rating - I --- Interesting Facts

Story 119      Rating - G --- Stratigic Dictionary for Men

Story 118      Rating - G --- From a Woman's Point of View

Story 117      Rating - G --- How to get into Heaven

Story 116      Rating - P --- Strange Number

Story 115      Rating - G --- A Nun in The Bathroom

Story 114      Rating - G --- After the Super Bowl

Story 113      Rating - G --- Smart Computer

Story 112      Rating - G --- Divorce In Heaven

Story 107      Rating - G --- How To Wash The Cat

Story 106      Rating - G --- The Two Nuns, Mathematical and Logical

Story 105      Rating - G --- Wrong Way

Story 104      Rating - G --- President Bush and Colin Powell

Story 103      Rating - G --- Three Kick Rule

Story 102      Rating - P --- Easy Exam

Story 101      Rating - G --- The Test

Story 100      Rating - G --- A Little Supper Joke

Story 99      Rating - G --- Live Longer

Story 96      Rating - G --- Fish Story

Story 94      Rating - G --- Something to Think About

Story 93      Rating - G --- Philosophy of Love

Story 92      Rating - G --- Your Computer Relationship

Story 90      Rating - G --- Hit the Rabbit

Story 87      Rating - G --- Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton

Story 84      Rating - G --- Blessed be the Little Children

Story 83      Rating - G --- You Think You Had a Bad Day

Story 82      Rating - G --- Wanted for Attempted Murder

Story 81      Rating - G --- Bill and Hillary Clinton's Hometown Visit

Story 79      Rating - G --- Bill Clinton in the Land of OZ

Story 77      Rating - G --- A Few Words From Steven Wright

Story 76      Rating - G --- Politically Incorrect

Story 75      Rating - G --- Killing a Bear With an Umbrella

Story 74      Rating - G --- More Useless Facts

Story 72      Rating - G --- Cat Planning

Story 66      Rating - G --- GirlFriend Version 1.0

Story 65      Rating - G --- Church Bulletins

Story 62      Rating - G --- Air Force Maintenance Reports

Story 60      Rating - G --- Psychiatric Hotline

Story 59      Rating - G --- Bad Puns

Story 58      Rating - G --- The Flat Tire

Story 57      Rating - G --- Useless Facts

Story 56      Rating - G --- Letter to a Redneck

Story 55      Rating - G --- Clinton Family Tree

Story 54      Rating - G --- Three Travelers at the Farm House

Story 53      Rating - P --- I. Q. Test

Story 52      Rating - G --- Disappearing Ink

Story 51      Rating - G --- The Exam

Story 50      Rating - G --- Cigar Insurance

Story 48      Rating - G --- S** in Las Vegas

Story 47      Rating - G --- Two Lines for Men

Story 42      Rating - G --- The Blonde's Interview

Story 41      Rating - G --- Women's English

Story 39      Rating - G --- Three Engineers in a Car

Story 37      Rating - G --- Fifth Graders' Exam Answers

Story 36      Rating - G --- Two Blond Men

Story 35      Rating - G --- Rock Music Mice

Story 33      Rating - G --- Actual Headlines

Story 30      Rating - G --- The Cat and the Beaker

Story 29      Rating - I --- The High School Student

Story 27      Rating - G --- The Difference Between Men and Women

Story 26      Rating - G --- The Things We Learned in College

Story 25      Rating - G --- The Help Line

Story 24      Rating - G --- Help for a Catholic

Story 23      Rating - P --- Brain Teaser

Story 22      Rating - G --- Great Truths from Children

Story 21      Rating - G --- Nerds vs Jocks

Story 20      Rating - G --- Bumper Stickers

Story 18      Rating - G --- Not the Sharpest

Story 17      Rating - G --- Satan Pays a Visit

Story 16      Rating - G --- The New Pastor

Story 15      Rating - I --- Election Time

Story 14      Rating - G --- Jerves, the Butler

Story 12      Rating - I --- Lawyer on Viagra

Story 11      Rating - G --- Y-zero-K Problem

Story 10      Rating - G --- Two Blondes

Story 9      Rating - G --- Twenty-Five Short Books

Story 6      Rating - G --- Jack Daniels

Story 5      Rating - G --- If I Died







Our 70-649 vce prep courses & 70-432 pdf includes the latest set of exam 70-511 practice questions and 70-433 exam with 100% guarantee for victory in exam 70-432.





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April 26, 2006

Kittytracks

Are you looking for a kitten? Click Sphynx kittens for sale to see Sphynx kittens

If you would like to see some hairless kittens, click hairless kittens for sale to go to Kittytracks.com






If you've written a story or a novel, click Literary Agents email addresses to see a list of literary agents' e-mail addresses



Editor


If you have written a novel or short story and need a professional edit and analysis, please click Novel Editing to see additional information



Writers Free Reference


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Hannibal


Click to see Hannibal's Elephant Girl, a new novel by Ariion Kathleen Brindley





Jokes and Funny Stories


Do you need a good laugh? click Over 200 jokes and funny stories to see a wide variety of fun