Click on the book to see Hannibal's Elephant Girl, a new novel by Ariion Kathleen Brindley
The Exam
Instructions
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.
History
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
day, concentrating
especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,
economic, religious, and
philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be
brief, concise, and
specific.
Medicine
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of Scotch.
Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been
inspected. You have
fifteen minutes.
Public Speaking
2,500 aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm Them. You may use
any ancient
language except Latin or Greek.
Biology
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture
if this form of life had
developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its
probable effect on the
English parliamentary system. Prove your theses.
Music
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and
drum. You will find a
piano under your seat.
Psychology
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of
adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following:
Alexander of
Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your
evaluation with
quotations from each man's work making appropriate references. It
is not necessary to
translate.
Sociology
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of
the world.
Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Epistemology
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your
position.
Management Science
Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create
a generalized
algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130
CPU supporting 50
terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the
communications interface
and all necessary control programs.
Literature
Write an epic of not less than 10,000 rhymed couplets on The Ascent
of Man; do not
use more than four different languages. Then write a critical essay
explaining the
intentional fallacy of your poem.
Engineering
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in
a box on your
desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili.
In ten minutes a
hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever
action you feel
appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
Economics
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace
the possible effects of
your plan in the following areas: Cubism, The Donatist controversy,
the wave theory of
light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize
this method from all
possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point
of view as demonstrated
in your answer to the last question.
Mathematics
Provide a counter example to Goldbach's Conjecture. Reconstruct
Fermat's proof of
Fermat's Theorem. Using the construction paper and Scotch tape
found on the back of
this exam, build a working model of a sphere which can be turned
inside out without
any folds.
Chemistry
Using the materials leftover in the box containing the rifle, along
with the chemicals
provided in the first aid kit, build an atomic bomb. This is to be
used in the next
question.
Political Science
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War
III. Report at length
on its socio-political effects, if any.
Physics
Explain the nature of matter. Include in you answer an evaluation
of the impact of the
development of mathematics on science.
Philosophy
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.
Compare with the
development of any other kind of thought.
General Knowledge
Describe in detail . Be objective and specific.
Extra Credit
Define the universe. Give three examples.
If you finish before time is called, go back and check
your work.
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